Not everyone can have the social finesse of Donald Trump or Barack Obama. Whether it’s during a night on the town with your coworkers or an important client dinner, people are constantly being judged by what they say (or what they don’t say). If you’re an individual who struggles during group conversations, here are 5 simple tips that may help you out!

Read the Newspaper:

• Being informed on the most recent happenings around the world will allow you to actively participate in related conversations during the event. Skim a current newspaper prior to the event for interesting news stories. If you don’t have time to read the newspaper, watch CNN or the Fox News Channel while you are getting dressed. Information is power!

Review the Latest Sports Highlights:

• Even if you are not a sports fan, there is a high probability that a few people at the event will be. Catching up on the latest sporting world developments will allow you to follow along (and perhaps contribute) should any idle conversations head in this direction.

Memorize a Joke:

• Everyone loves a good joke. If you’re a dud when it comes to comedy, make a point of learning at least one quick joke related to a current topic. You may never get a chance to use it, but if the opportunity presents itself you’ll be ready to perform. Just be reasonable, jokes based on prejudice, religion, and in some cases politics have no place in public forums.

Identify a Problem Within Your Organization:

• It’s not all fun and games at company gatherings. At some point during the event the topic of discussion will turn to business. Ask yourself what issues are facing your organization. Think of solutions to these issues. If the moment presents itself, you will be able to offer insight and reinforce the point that you are “in touch” with current issues affecting your institution

Research Prospective Guests:

• It is always a good idea to learn the names and positions of various guests who may be attending the function. If you can recall their names, they will usually make a point of remembering yours. See if you can’t find out a little personal information about guests you would like to meet. If you do get a chance to speak with them, be sure to ask them how their golf game is, how their horses are, or if they’ve caught any big fish lately.

Regardless of the situation, improving our ability to interact and communicate with other individuals is a life long learning process. If you don’t practice your communication skills, they will never improve!

photo by ogilvyprworldwide

Keith Ferrazzi wrote his best selling book Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time on the idea that networking and mentorship are key elements affecting a person’s level of success. As the title suggests, Ferrazzi has made a habit of seeking out unaccompanied people in public places to engage them in conversations designed to identify mutual connections.

Whether it is in a restaurant, City Park, or on a flight between New York and Los Angles, you’ll never know who you’re sitting next to unless you engage them in a conversation.

I recently challenged myself to Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone on a flight from Atlanta, GA to New Orleans, LA. I was sitting next to a well dressed gentleman and I could tell by the conversation he was having on his Blackberry that he was a man of influence.

I find it rude when a stranger begins a conversation asking me direct questions about what I do for a living, and I wanted to extend the same level of respect for the gentleman sitting next to me.

“Are you from New Orleans?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’ve been stuck in meetings all day and I’m ready to get back home.” he replied.

“I know how you feel. Few things are more discouraging than boring meetings, especially when you’ve got better things you could be doing at the house.” I said.

“That’s for sure! How about you, are you from New Orleans?” he replied back.

“No, I work offshore in the oil and gas business, and am on my way to work.” I told him.

By taking advantage of the opportunity to tell him what I do for a living, I had opened the door to pry a little deeper into his life.

I assumed that if he was involved in the oil and gas industry, he would have mentioned it when I told him what I was doing on the Gulf Coast. You could tell the guy was sociable and I could have comfortably asked him what he did for a living at that point but I wanted to refine my skill.

“Do you travel to Atlanta often?” I asked.

“About once per month.” He said. “My company’s headquarters are there and all of the regional vice presidents get together now and again to go over sales figures, expenses, etc.”

“What products does your company sell?” I finally asked.

“I manage the Kentwood Springs Bottling Company”, he responded back.

The gentleman went on to talk about how he started on a delivery route 30 years ago and eventually worked his way up to vice president of the company.

His story was truly inspiring and we had an engaging conversation during the remainder of our flight. We exchanged ideas for presenting in front of large groups, dealing with difficult bosses, and developing and reaching personal goals. I learned a great deal in that one hour conversation.

We have kept in touch over the last month or two, and I know that if I ever have a question I can count on him to respond with an answer.

While Keith Ferrazzi takes his networking to the extreme in Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time, we can all benefit from being a little more social with those around us.